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Posts published in “Humor”

The Phases of Quarantine (for Non-Essential Workers)

Day 1: This lockdown will be my Hot Girl Quarantine – time to get in shape! 

  • Proceeds to InstaCart – only fresh fruit and veggies, keeping snacks at home is too unsafe. Orders Booty Bands and dumbbells through Amazon. When the groceries and packages get delivered, uses pounds of disinfectant on the outsides of all the bags and packaging. Admires the colorful fridge full of fresh food and the colorful living room full of exercise equipment. 
  • Sets up several Zoom and FaceTime happy hours, it’s just like the real thing!
  • “I can finally put a dent in my long list of Netflix and Hulu shows to watch.

Zoom Drinking Game

This semester has been…something. Going remote in the middle of the semester has been quite the experience and we’ve all had to come up with innovative ways to stay entertained. One of the many ways people have managed to make the best of online classes is by setting up drinking games. Hopefully, we will not be virtual next semester and none of these will have to be used again, but below are some of the rules Sternies have come up with. Enjoy!

Take 1 Sip:

  1. Anytime someone mentions coronavirus
  2. Every time someone says, “Sorry, I was on mute.”
  3. Every time two people talk at the same time, then stop at the same time, and then start speaking at the same time again

Take 2 Sips:

  1. Every time the professor comments on a student’s Zoom background
  2. Every time you join a breakout room

Chug your drink:

  1. If someone starts yelling to their mom/significant other/roommate without realizing they’re not on mute
  2. When someone accidentally messages something on the Zoom chat to the entire class instead of replying privately
  3. If you catch someone else drinking!

The Many Faces of Zoom Backgrounds

What better way to add some excitement to class AND cover up your messy room than a Zoom background?! As we’ve become accustomed to virtual classes, we’ve gotten creative with backgrounds and effects. Here is a taste of some of the backgrounds we’ve seen in classes, complete with the Zoom artists!

A person holding a fish in the water

Description automatically generatedA person holding a fish in the water

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Chad Eatinger
A person looking at the camera

Description automatically generatedA person looking at the camera

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Tim Sterling
A person wearing glasses and smiling at the camera

Description automatically generatedA person wearing glasses and smiling at the camera

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Shasanka Pradhan

And finally, for when you really can’t be bothered to look like a human, courtesy of my brother:

A picture containing yellow, green, food, water

Description automatically generatedA picture containing yellow, green, food, water

Description automatically generated

CovidThoughts

Is it possible to feel sorry for cereal? Please, observe this woefully sad cereal aisle.

It has been thoroughly ravaged by us humans. We have first picked the best Cheerios, to the mediocre Oats, even down to third string Corn Flakes, but at Mermaid, we righteously draw the line.

One would happily supplant Mermaid with even wonder bread and spam. It’s barely a question.

But when does the new line need to be drawn? Is it vegemite? Is it baked bean hot dogs?

Where will this pandemic take us?

#covidthoughts #cereallivesmatter #doyourpart #carbohydratediscrimination #socialdistancing #help #hope #love

Dear Oppy: April Edition

Dear Oppy,

I’m stranded in a foreign country due to the pandemic, and I am trying to get some information on how to get back. I don’t speak the local language and I’m struggling to understand what is going on. Do you have any advice?

Desperately,

Locked in Translation

Locked in Translation,

Mezu automatizatua: Sentitzen dut, gure posta elektronikoko sistemak desagertuta daude. Bilatu webgunea eta jarri harremanetan gure ordezkariekin tokiko hizkuntza laguntza lortzeko. Itxaroteko denbora izugarriak izaten ari gara eta ez dugu ingelesez hitz egiten. Eskerrik asko Oppy maitea idazteagatik!

Oppy!

Dear Oppy,

My roommate and I have been spending way too much time together since Coronavirus shut down the city.…

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