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Stern Singles Presents: Aakoo Hans8 min read

Folks, Valentine’s Day is a-coming and we have another edition of Stern Singles for you. We are excited to introduce Stern bachelor, Aakoo Hans. If you would like to nominate a classmate (or yourself) for future features of the Stern Spotlight, please email the Oppy staff at [email protected] or fill out this form.

I had the good fortune of meeting Aakoo a few weeks ago on the Stern Ski Trip. Being one of the few other Langone students on the trip, we infiltrated the full-timer groups and partied as if we weren’t returning to full time jobs and being inundated with work emails. Aakoo is a second year Langone student and is also a Senior Manager of B2B Strategy at American Express. Tall-ish, dark and handsome…he describes himself as the “perfect mix of Aladdin and the Indian dude from Squid Game.” To his family, he’s the rebel child – always looking to do things involving signing his life away. To his friends, he’s the happy-go-lucky, life of the party person in the group that’s always down to grab a beer OR is getting people to do shots, anywhere from the pregame to a dinner party (cue Breckinridge nights 2-4). 

Sternie Testimonials: 
“Aakoo is someone you definitely want in your inner circle. He’s fun, outgoing, loves trying new things, and he is always down for an adventure. Also, most importantly he has a car in the city, so he can drive you to said adventure.”

Us women are always looking for a man with a car. Have you seen the Uber surcharges lately? 

“If you want someone genuine, down to earth, and ready for anything, look no further than Aakoo. He will always ensure that you’re happy and that the (drinking) glass is at least half full.”

The key to a successful relationship is never letting your partner’s drink run dry…

“Kumail Nanjiani, aka the Maryland Mystery, aka Aakoo is the strapping young lad that men dream to be. Mr. February has qualities that are long-lasting; sometimes too long. He has a sense of humor that would slay a hyena. His hair, like the popular 1980’s hip-hop group Salt-N-Pepa, is made from the fine horse hair found in Bangladesh. This majestic stallion can make women swoon by flashing his million-dollar insured smile. Aakoo you beautiful man dime. Hot damn zaddy.”

Is zaddy making a comeback? If so, I am here for it.

“Aakoo is an all around great guy, and always down for anything. Whether it’s a low-key hang, exploring a new bar in NYC, or a trip across the country, he’s there for you and will always bring the fun.”

Wow. With testimonials like that, I don’t even think I need to interview Aakoo. But here goes.

Aakoo, I am so thrilled that I was able to rope you into being our bachelor for this issue! How are you recovering from that epic ski trip?

Ended up with only a few bruises, so can’t complain. My liver on the other hand…

I hear you. My liver tried to emancipate itself from me. Ok, let’s get down to business. We are on a mission to find you the Sternie love of your life. 

But let’s start with an easy question. What brought you to Stern? 

0% interest rates on student loans and a desire to enrich my knowledge base alongside like-minded individuals. Mostly 0% interest rates.

What’s been your favorite part about the program…besides meeting me? 

Not much can beat meeting you, Deirdre! If I HAD to pick something else though…definitely Thursday Night Football at Half Pint (which extends into Friday, of course).

Um, how am I just hearing this was a thing now AFTER the season has ended. From creeping on your IG, I see that you too are a Friday Night Lights fan. I could go off on a tangent here but I shall refrain. What’s been the best surprise about the Covid B-school experience? 

Getting to meet everyone I saw on Zoom in the flesh once classes went back in-person.

The camera really does add 10 pounds. Besides killing it on the slopes, what are your strengths?

I’m surprisingly good at parallel parking, planning group trips, and making the executive decision on dinner plans (big one for the girls).

Unfortunately, some of us ladies couldn’t pick a restaurant if our lives depended on it. What are some of your future goals?

Career: I want to start an infrastructure advisory firm that helps third world countries develop their cities more sustainably with a side venture capital arm that invests in fledgling infrastructure startups and a non-profit arm that builds schools, health facilities, and other public resources in underprivileged communities.

Non-professional: 1) Visit every country in the world. 2) Do a full marathon in an international location. 3) Contribute to ending world hunger.

Wow! Not only are you fun but you’re an incredible person. Where’s your favorite date spot? 

Sunday morning bagel run with coffee and walk in the park or drinks on a rooftop with sick views of the city (Pod 39, Westlight, or One Brooklyn Hotel are good ones, gents).

Those are phenomenal bars and overall, very Covid friendly choices. NYU would approve. Any catastrophic first date stories you’d like to share for our entertainment?

My principle is to go in with no expectations, so most of my dates have been solid. My first date in NY I was challenged to try booger-flavored gelato. Not bad…

What do you find most challenging about dating?

Small talk.

So this interview must be killing you. What do you enjoy most about dating?

Getting to try new bars/restaurants/explore the city in the process.

What are you looking for in a lady?

I go by the five S’s rule – Sexy, Smart, Sophisticated, Spontaneous, and Sassy…which translates to:

A girl that is humble, but ambitious. Laid-back, but can hold her own. Adventurous and open-minded, but also rooted in her background and values. Most importantly, knows how to live life to the fullest.

*Tries to suppress audible awwww* What do you want out of a relationship?

A genuine, travel the world, IHOP at 3 a.m. kinda relationship. Someone I can experience this life and world with. 

Okay, this may be my most fun Stern Singles interview yet. Do you have any deal breakers in a partner? 

Pineapple is not a pizza topping.

Needs to be adventurous/spontaneous.

If your definition of fun is bottomless brunch every weekend, this ain’t going to work.

You have to draw the line somewhere. Is there anything you would like to tell your potential suitors?

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take so…shoot your shot.

I thought you were going to say, “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose,” but I will gladly settle for an Office reference. I like to end with a sprint to the finish. Let’s do this. What excites you? 

Visiting new places, meeting unique people, learning about different cultures. Hearing people’s stories.

What scares you? 

Never finding my purpose.

Losing loved ones.


Impressive that you’ve lasted so long in NYC with the last one. Favorite musician or band?

Big house music junkie, so no one’s going to know these: Dom Dolla and Sonny Fodera.

Outside of house: Florida Georgia Line, Brothers Osbourne, Goo Goo Dolls, Third Eye Blind, Jay-Z, J.Cole, Big Sean.

Well rounded. Favorite song to dance to? 

Stacy’s Mom – Fountains of Wayne.

That was definitely played on the last night of the ski trip. Favorite karaoke song? 

All The Small Things – Blink-182.

Oh man, great choice. Possibly followed by What’s My Age Again. Favorite podcast? 

Not a huge podcast guy

There’s only so many hours in the day. Favorite book?

The Outsiders.

He has taste, folks. Do you cook?

I experiment…

I have so many followup questions but I need to leave a little mystery for all these ladies that are going to be sliding into your DMs, Teams, Stern email, etc. This has been so much fun, Aakoo! 

Ladies, if you want to follow up with Aakoo, here’s his IG, and if any of his professional goals resonated with you, here’s his LinkedIn. He told me that he does not have an OnlyFans account, and I could not stop laughing. Humor, brains, looks, charm, ambition and a desire to do good… What more could you ask for?

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