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Dear Oppy: September 2020 Edition

We are proud to continue our agony advice column, Dear Oppy: B-School Advice for the Everyday Sternie (living through a pandemic).

Oppy can be quite Stern at times but is here to answer the queries and qualms of all MBA students so send them his/her way at oppy@stern.nyu.edu.

Dear Oppy,

Remember when the tent on Gould Plaza was home to Stern Social, aka Beer Blast. Now it’s a COVID testing center for NYU. That is all.

Best, One Sad Sternie

Dear Sad Sternie,

RIP “Tent Blast.” May the plaza forever echo the drunken bellows made by all previous MBA students that would seep into the walls of KMC, spreading jealousy throughout all Langoners taking Thursday evening classes.

With condolences, Oppy 

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Dear Oppy,

DID YOU HEAR WHAT THEY DID TO US? They increased our tuition…by $145 per credit in the fall. They jacked up each VIRTUAL class by $435!!!

Best, Outraged Online

Dear Outraged Online,

Yes, I did hear. Administration sent me this excel sheet to further break down the math for you. 

But can you really put a price on an MBA from a reputable school anyway?

Best, Oppy

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Dear Oppy,

Not to sound crude but this blows. I came to Stern to network, and an MBA is supposed to be a good time. Now, six months later, I’m living on Zoom…for class, coffee chats, recruiting, and club meetings. If someone suggests another F***ing Zoom HH, I’m going to lose it. 

Best, Questioning Quarantine

Dear Questioning Quarantine,

Have you thought about downloading Webex?

Best, Oppy

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Dear Oppy,

My client is a mid-sized clothing manufacturer considering acquiring a national sock retailer. The client operates in the US, has seen revenues grow while profits remain flat, and has recently expanded into the lucrative wacky socks segment. How should I think about this problem?

Thanks, Case Consulted

Dear Case Consulted,

After spending a few minutes to gather my thoughts, I recommend you look at alternative career choices. Ever consider tech or brand management?

Best, Oppy

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