The Oppy is very proud to announce our newest feature: “Married But Available.”
Did you come to Stern to have a good time? Are you trying to relive the good ol’ college days – although it’s been over ten years since you’ve graduated and you’ve now settled down and have said your vows? Well married friends, then this is the feature for you! Because we’re not here for a long time, we are here for a GOOD time.
We, at The Oppy, do not discriminate. Therefore, we have deemed it unethical to only feature single students in our Stern Singles feature and neglect all those with wedding bands. This exposé will happily promote all you swingers out there. You don’t even have to tell your spouse! Let’s just hope he/she/they don’t Google your name anytime soon. Who’s ready for mid-day dates and phone calls from contacts with fake names? Your partner will never know, and you will get the full “b-school experience.” Best of both worlds! Plus, the stress of hiding a second life will build up your tolerance to working under pressure. That’s a resume builder if we’ve ever heard of one.
Whatever your romance status, The Oppy is here to find you love! An MBA, with constant group work, endless networking events, and the rapid bond forged by an intense workload can foster relationships, make, and even break marriages.
Marriage, after all, wasn’t made to last forever, but an MBA degree does. So, tell us what interests you. Have your partner (unknowingly) give us a testimonial. Send in some photos (we accept wedding photos!). Who doesn’t look their best in a wedding gown or tuxedo?!
Disclaimer: This article is part of our April Fool’s issue and does not have any truth to it. Its purpose is not to cause offense but to bring some laughs,or at least an eyeroll, during these weird times.