Notes from KW: Three Things I Hate About You, Stern

Krystal Walker, MBA Class of 2014

Bear with me guys, this article is a bit of a rant. You know I love Stern. I bleed violet… my Doctors are concerned. But alas, there are some things about this place that grate on my nerves.

The Graduation Ticket Fiasco
Perpetrators: Stern Administration, MBA Students who see this as a great arbitrage opportunity (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!)

Seriously, who in the administration thought it was a good idea to issue three tickets per student for graduation? I don’t have a large immediate family, but even with that allotment I’ve got to decide between which sibling gets to see me receive the first Master’s Degree in my family. Yet, I don’t weep for myself, I weep for those people like Andrew Ralph, who have to make the choice between his children seeing him graduate or his parents. Talk about a travesty. I understand that their maybe capacity issues at Radio City Music Hall. But here are a few solutions to sourcing more tickets: change venues and or hold separate graduation ceremonies for part time and full time students. I know that Radio City has become somewhat of a tradition, but its time the Stern Administrators started drinking their own Kool-Aid and became disruptive.

As if to add insult to injury, one of my fellow students decided that the shortage of graduation tickets was the perfect arbitrage opportunity. He posted in the MBA 2014 Facebook group that he was selling his tickets for $75 a piece. Clearly he had a memory lapse and thought he was posting on some other b-school’s Facebook page, because this is not the Stern way. The Stern way is figuring out a solution that brings value to everyone. This is what my good friend Martin Gordon is trying to accomplish. Martin, seeing this issue built a database to figure out how many additional tickets would be needed to meet the demands of the MBA graduating class. Martin Gordon is what Marciano would call a “value creator.” Martin Gordon , I salute you sir, and for the sake of the relationship with my siblings, and Andrew Ralph’s love of his children, I hope you are successful!

The Word “Complicated”
Perpetrators: Everyone

Every time I hear this word, I cringe. It is literally my least favorite word in the English language. It didn’t use to be that way. Before Stern, “complicated,” was just another word in my vocabulary. After two years here, I’ve come to loathe it, especially when used as a reason for indecision. We all know someone who’s used this phrase to weasel out of making a decision. To those people I say, it’s not that your situation is complicated; the problem is that you just want to have your cake and eat it too—which just makes you plain greedy.

The Vending Machines
Perpetrators: Vending Machines on Floors 2 and 3

Can we figure out why they don’t give change? No, really? Why don’t they give change? After sticking me with huge tuition bill that seems to increase every semester, and harassing me to make a donation to the “383 Strong Campaign,” (have you donated?), the least you can do is make sure that the vending machines give me my change.

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