In the days running up to the submission deadline for this issue of the Oppy, Courtney and Matt both sent me reviews of Jean-Marc Vallée’s Dallas Buyers Club, the heart-wrenching drama starring Matthew McConaughey and based on the true-life tale of Ron Woodroof. Rather than choose between them and risk losing the slighted columnist forever, I’ve decided to run both reviews and fill up most of this page.

True to Courtney’s typical style, her review is a no-nonsense professional job, which offers its bi-weekly breath of fresh air in what would otherwise be exclusively the stinky cloud of the Leonard N. Stern Department of Trifle and Propaganda. (That might be another good deanship. Associate Vice Dean of Trifle and Propaganda. Where do I send my resume?)

Matt’s review is more like the rest of this paper, and for that reason I appreciate it, but could honestly do without the competition. I am also deeply offended by his easy dismissal of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, which shows a failure of judgment nearly on par with the decision to edit this newspaper.

I, for one, don’t have the maturity or energy to watch anything more emotionally involved than an episode of SpongeBob SquarePants, so I’ll have to take their words for it. Fascinatingly, Microsoft Word spellcheck knows ‘SpongeBob’, but not ‘SquarePants’ – Ed.

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