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On Saying No in Business School4 min read

Brian Galgay, MBA Class of 2014

galgayFOMO (Fear of Missing Out, for those of you not in the know) is the leading cause of stress in business school. We pay a lot to be here — both in terms of real and opportunity cost. And let’s be honest, you’re not here to be mediocre. You’re here to win (however you take that to mean).

The nonstop orgy that is business school is comprised of three seductive sirens:
– career advancement (read: get paid)
– networking (read: make friends and meet influential people…who will help you get paid)
– learning (read: gain confidence in areas or impress influential people mentioned above… in order to get paid)

Let’s face it: most of us are more Capitalist than Buddhist. Simply put, we like good things so much that we want all of the good things—a good post-school job, good friends, and even good grades (why not?).  We want them both in quantity (i.e. number of offers, classmates to say “Hi” to in the stairwell, and let’s not forget straight A’s) — and the highest quality (e.g. offers from Google/Goldman/McKinsey, meaningful relationships, earning a scholarship).  But trying to achieve too much ends up damaging our chances to get what is really important, whatever that may be for you.

Be honest with yourself about how you greedy are.

In the sober light of Sosnoff, that’s a tall order. If we ignore factors like “time” and “capability”—like any good Operations model—we can optimize our calendars around what matters for each of us to win.  The tricky thing now is managing our FOMO.

Like Pavlovian dogs, we want bells to go off, and at the same time, we want punitive measures for bad things.  But FOMO, or fear of missing out for the uninitiated, has no iPhone-esque chime of an enforcement mechanism; no signal to inform you that you’ve made the right choice.  However, there is usually a signal if you’ve missed out on the wrong thing.  So, pay attention to those!  Take a look at the decisions you’ve made in the past and use those to inform your future choices regarding how to create a balanced schedule.

In a world of “the grass is always greener”, you have to live with your decisions. No one is going to tell you what to do.

We all overeat at the buffet (even at over-priced Korean delis). It’s no different in B-school. We arrive wide-eyed, oversubscribing and underperforming, and then we need to pare it down into something more manageable. In the indigestion aftermath, it serves up a potent lesson: you need to be accountable for any of the activities you take on. After all, your name is on the line.

Whatever you do, own it.

If you drop the ball on something, there are opportunities to right your wrongs. But the audiences will be different and likely not overlap. In other words, you might be a rock star to some classmates, but a deadweight to others who don’t have the chance to see you at your finest.

Business school is full of flakes who will fill out the middle (or bottom) of the pack. To be brutally honest, we’ve all been there! We have our excuses. Last minute dropouts for corporate presentations? Yep. No show for your group project? Did that twice last semester — and now totally avoiding that group this semester! Finding your way to the middle of the herd is almost a default.  Winning in B-school, however, comes from avoiding these mistakes of overcommitment.

Econ taught us that scarcity is a real thing. It drives value in otherwise cheap commodities. The scarcest things in business school are time and the ability to recover one’s reputation. In that construct, we shouldn’t fear FOMO; rather, underperforming due to over-subscription should be what we really try to avoid.
As Dean Henry says, “We ALL are juggling a lot of balls. The important thing is to remember which balls are made of rubber — and which are made of glass.”

Takeaway: Reputational risk > FOMO

Clearly I still have much to learn–I spent an hour writing this when I could have done more of… well, anything.

Good luck and learn to say “No”. After all, you’re at Stern. You’re going to get multiple job offers. You can only say “Yes” to one. Get practice now.

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